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Post by joan1 on Aug 20, 2009 2:17:16 GMT -5
Hi, , odd but true,, I have no idea how many times I am supposed to kiss people( air kiss really).. you know ,, that cheek cheek head bobbing thing ..
I have relatives, and close family friends, and I always end up bobbing along with them,, but I thought it was 2 or 3x ,, and this last visit I was getting the 4x stuff, and it is bloody awkard,, as I do not air kiss anyone at home.. I have always just followed suit in France though.
I just don't know who gets how many,, or maybe my family is just really odd and does not follow the norms,, how would I know? LOL
This last visit was especially odd as I met the children of my godfather( they are same age as me) and their children,, and these kids of 11, and15 who have never met me came right in for the kissing,, and I just felt completely lost.
So,, whats the formula,, anyone know for sure,, I almost always end up bobbing wrong,, LOL
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Post by GitteK on Aug 20, 2009 3:48:25 GMT -5
These are my thumb rules: left cheek - right cheek. No touching of lips to skin !  left cheek - right cheek - left cheek But only if it is someone you know very well - close friends A little touching of lips to skin is seen done.  I have never seen the 4-kisses version.  And an advice so as not to slam your head into the other persons face, is to make it very clear with your body that you ARE going to the left first, so no mistakes will arise. |
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Post by Anne on Aug 20, 2009 4:20:25 GMT -5
We always kiss twice in my province and, as far as I know, in Paris too. Kissing more times is more of a regional thing : like the only times when I did it four times were in rural South-West of France, and people there know that it's quite unusual for "foreigners" so they warn you while kissing "we do four times here !".
Cheeks do touch, and, as Gitte says, a bit of the lips can touch the cheek too. Full lip on the cheek looks very rustic except with children or when you really want to demonstrate affection with close family.
Children do kiss adults indeed because they wouldn't shake hands (this is typically an adults' thing) : so either they just say hello and don't move when they meet complete strangers, or they kiss when they meet people that they know or that the family does (even though they may not know them personnally). When they become teenagers, they will start the handshake thing and become more selective in their kissing. Although it is normal that your godfather's grandchildren still kissed you because you kind of belong to the family circle.
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Post by sunshine817 on Aug 20, 2009 8:24:01 GMT -5
Three and four is more common in the south -- although I saw a four at the Carrefour today!
As Anne mentioned, even the French can mix it up on occasion -- it always makes everyone laugh.
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Post by cigalechanta on Aug 20, 2009 15:06:11 GMT -5
I usually get three in Provence
and four in Normandy but mostly from the men.
In Paris, and here, mostly two.
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Post by joan1 on Aug 21, 2009 0:35:30 GMT -5
Thanks,, it does seem that one just must follow the leader then,,LOL
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Post by kerouac on Aug 21, 2009 14:58:48 GMT -5
In my circles, lips of at least one of the kissers are supposed to touch the cheek. When it is man/woman, generally it is the man who makes contact. If not, why on earth bother with the kissing?? I think that foreigners are afraid to touch. What a waste! Meanwhile, here is the kiss map for France.  No need to be an amateur! |
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Post by Anne on Aug 22, 2009 2:10:35 GMT -5
In my circles, lips of at least one of the kissers are supposed to touch the cheek. When it is man/woman, generally it is the man who makes contact. Reason is : lipstick ;D Women don't kiss the same whether they wear lipstick or not. |
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Post by joan1 on Aug 22, 2009 2:26:06 GMT -5
Kerouac,, no way,, is that for real.. LOL , I think I notice Paris is in a "white " zone,, what does hat mean?
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Post by joan1 on Aug 22, 2009 2:26:36 GMT -5
Anne the lipstick makes perfect sense..
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Post by kerouac on Aug 22, 2009 5:59:14 GMT -5
Lipstick is indeed a problem for certain age groups. Frankly, I must admit that I don't hang out with the lipstick crowd.
The colors for the Paris metropolitan region are on the left of the map, below Brittany. Paris is a two-kiss town.
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Post by denise on Aug 22, 2009 6:48:42 GMT -5
Does the orange area mean 5 kisses.
Goodness, how do you ever get any business done?
I never realised there was so much protocol to kissing. I think I'll just stick to a good old British hand shake, or a hug for someone I know well, can't offend anyone there.
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Post by kerouac on Aug 22, 2009 13:01:43 GMT -5
Hugging very much offends the French. Actually, "offends" is not the right word -- they just find it extemely strange and uncomfortable, the same way Americans find kissing total strangers uncomfortable.
One thing about the protocol in France that really fascinates me is how you decide to kiss somebody you are meeting for the first time. Basically,
1. If you are introduced to a relative that you have never met before, you will kiss them anyway because they are family.
2. If a close friend introduces you to somebody to whom they are close -- a family member or friend -- you kiss them because they are automatically close by osmosis.
3. If you meet some new people and shake hands with them at the start, you will still kiss them when you take leave if the contact has been good. Shaking their hands a second time is a way of telling them "you do not exist in my world."
With the H1N1 flu type A ("swine flu") about to sweep across Europe, new protocols are already being developed. There are a lot of offices where all of the colleagues kiss each other each and every day (thank god, my office is not one of them). Kissing will be discouraged when the flu starts to spread. However, handshaking is considered to be a much more dangerous activity, since just about everybody covers their mouth with their hand when they cough or sneeze. Do you want to shake those hands if they are sick?
So, if in doubt, just keep kissing.
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Post by Jody on Aug 22, 2009 13:56:24 GMT -5
Kissing it will be then!!
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Post by denise on Aug 22, 2009 14:39:10 GMT -5
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Post by Jody on Aug 22, 2009 15:34:36 GMT -5
denise,LOL!!!
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Post by Shoesy on Aug 22, 2009 16:04:14 GMT -5
Kerouac - Many thanks  and an exalt to you for your very informative posts. Incidentally, here in Israel people kiss twice.....right cheek and then left. Even though I've been living here for over 38 years, sometimes I still have to remind myself to kiss the second time. One kiss seems quite adequate to me, but "when in Rome..... "  |
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Post by GitteK on Aug 22, 2009 16:26:30 GMT -5
chou chou - you would get yourself into serious trouble with the Israeli kissing procedure (right => left) as it is done reversely in Paris (in my limited experience).
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Post by kerouac on Aug 22, 2009 16:36:30 GMT -5
In the very rare instances where I only get one kiss, I feel cheated.
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nutsabouttravel
Full Member
Fais que ton r?ve soit plus long que la nuit
Posts: 154
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Post by nutsabouttravel on Aug 22, 2009 16:42:20 GMT -5
I never worried about the kissing thing before, just followed the lead of the other person. Now, I may be overthinking this. Where the heck do you put your hands when you are doing the kiss if hugging is OUT???  mary |
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and an exalt to you for your very informative posts. 
Let the riot begin! LOL - 
hahahha