Politeness vs. too formal?

[sdtraveller]

Is it pretentious/school-bookish/overly-formal to use Je voudrais routinely in dealing with clerks, etc. (e.g., Je voudrais encore une serviette, s'il vous plait.) rather than "Je veux . . . " or simply "encore une serviette . . . " or even Apportez-moi . . .?

I ask about formality/politeness because I once tried "Voudriez vous m'apporter encore une serviette, s'il vous plait" (trying to be polite nearly to the point of obsequiousness for making such a request) and the waiter walked away before I could finish the sentence--he didn't return until I asked for the bill and, of course, I didn't get the additional napkin--apparently he wouldn't like to do it!!

[Truffaut]

Definitely, rule out " Je veux...", as that would be rude. I also find "Apportez moi..." to sound rather the same way, though maybe a native speaker wouldn't. Your construction of "Voudriez-vous..." does strike me as bookish, and probably unnecessary. It took me a while to realize that native speakers of all languages often don't speak in full sentences, except on the most formal occasion. So, I'd lean toward something more shorthand like "Une autre...s'il vous plait."

[luckyluc]

Pardon, une autre...svp would be fine. In a busy café or brasserie I might add "Pardon, monsieur, lorsque vous aurez un moment, une autre ....svp." But as Truff wrote never never "je veux"

[sdtraveller]

Thank you for the suggestions, especially about the appropriateness of truncating the request to less that a full sentence. One thing puzzles me: If I want an additional napkin, I had been taught that "autre" would ask for "a different one" vs. "encore" meaning "one more." Do I have that wrong?

[luckyluc]

Autre also mean a second one. Like in the sentence "Elle veut un autre enfant" She want a second child. Or "J'aimerais un autre café" "I would like a second coffee"

[phread]

I'd probably say, Je peux avoir une serviette, svp.
Waiters are very busy people, so the briefer you can be, the more likely you are to get served.

As for encore v. autre. In your sentence it comes across as again, not another one. At least to my ears. Which are anglo.

[joan1]

Hi,, why is "je veux " rude? I realize it would sound stiff, but rude?

[Anne]

It's not the words themselves which are rude, it's the fact that it's too much of a command . To me, it sounds only one step better than snapping one's fingers at the waiter.

[luckyluc]

Joan, as a child when I would said "Maman, je veux..." she would always answer " Le Roi dit nous voulons! (The King said we want) Like any good mother she was putting me in my place, reminding me that I am not a king to order people around. Sadly!

[joan1]

ah,, I see, in english it would not be so rude,, to say for instance,, "hello, I want to have a slice of cake and a tea please" to a waiter.. or to ones mom! I also thought "je veux" meant I wish,, not I want,, so I am now more aware,, thanks..

[kerouac]

The conditional is always used in stores.

In real life, you can be a lot more direct with Parisians, who are used to dealing with foreigners. In the provinces, it is wise to remain polite and formal until other signals are given.

[vanessa]

I would have to agree with what the majority have already said... use 'je voudrais' instead of 'je veux' etc. The latter really does come across as rude, and I would hate to give off a bad impression as a tourist, since tourists (especially Americans) already have somewhat of a bad reputation.