wedding stuff and replies to other questions

[lnverte]

Hello,

just back from a long weekend in the Gironde and I saw that there had been a few questions asked inmy absence so I thought that I would post the answers here, rather than pollute the who's who thread (I can be so thoughtful sometimes...) I think I've caught all of them but let me know if not:

Truffaut:
Technically, I'm not a batignollaise. I walk through every morning and I go to watch the ducks in the park on the way to the market on Sunday mornings but I'm a Montmartroise at heart. I prefer what the French call 'quartier populaire' to the more bourgeois areas and 'populaire' seems as good a euphemism as any for my side of the Place de Clichy...

Geordy:
I decided to go with the terrace of an Italian restaurant called Fuxia (which Truffaut might well know). The sunshine was glorious but that just made it all the more difficult to leave and go back to the office for the rest of the afternoon.

Willow:
I used to prefer dogs to cats too but then I moved to Paris. My flat is quite large by Parisian standards but it really wouldn't be fair to keep a dog here. Muppet (the cat) is perfectly happy in the armchair all day and doesn't need to be walked.

Demarais:
That would have been fun but I will indeed be on my honeymoon. We are leaving almost straight after the wedding for a week in Reunion Island and a week in Mauritius (that's actually how I came across Trip Advisor and, indirectly, this forum - I was looking for info about hotels).
Maybe next time?

Grndma (and anyone else who wants to hear about someone else's wedding):
I'm from Barnsley, near Sheffield. It's a great place to be from, I just have a problem going back there...
We are getting married in the morning on August 30th at the Mairie in the 18th arrondissement. Then there will be lunch with around 40 of our family and close friends on a boat in the Bois de Boulogne, near the Pont de Suresnes. After lunch, we'll be taking photos in the Parc Edmond Rothschild (Bois de Boulogne) and then there will be an evening reception for about 80 back on the boat.
A tip for those of you who envy me on this - getting married in Paris might sound romantic but it costs an arm and a leg and is a huge amount of hassle. The future Mr LN asked me to marry him while we were in Venise last November and we decided to get married this summer. 9 months might sound like a reasonable amount of time to arrange a wedding for 80 people but believe me it has been complicated. Between the venues that are booked up 2 years (that's right, 2 years) in advance and those that take your booking and then cancel, the whole thing has been trying to say the least and I'll only really relax when I'm on the plane to Reunion!

Framboiseetrose & Joan1:
Don't worry, I'm used to additional aunties, uncles, cousins and even brothers and sisters appearing! There isn't a day goes by without an old school 'friend' getting in touch and dropping hints about wanting to travel to Paris.
When I was a single, footloose and fancy-free student, there were people sleeping on my couch almost every weekend, most of them with extremely tenuous links back to me (the best one was the friend of a friend of mine that I had spoken to briefly during a trip to Brussels who turned up on my doorstep with her boyfriend the following New Year's Eve and stayed for a week. She eventually split up from her boyfriend but I stayed in touch with him and ended up sleeping on HIS couch in Barcelona the following summer. There I met his new girlfriend, whose sister stayed with me when she moved to Paris to study art and her ex-boyfriend who recently invited TFM LN and I to stay with him in Milan. As I have said before, life is complicated sometimes...)

Now that I share my life and my living room with the future Mr LN, I have calmed down on the open invitations but I LOVE playing at tour guides, which is why I signed up to this forum. I just hope that I can help you all to love Paris even more, even if it is by proxy for some of you!

Phew, I think that's all of your questions and comments adressed. It turned into an epic post so I'm off to reward myself with a glass of something yummy.

Greetings to you all from Paris, where it is sunny and warm (at last)

LN

[Shoesy]

Wow! What a lovely informative post, LN! You are a definite asset to this forum.
I can't wait to hear all about your wedding after it has taken place. I wonder how French weddings compare to my daughter's N.Y. one (last year) and my son's Israeli one (less than 2 months from now).

[lnverte]

now it is my tuen to be jealous - of your daughter!

I went to NY for the first time in February this year and I ADORED it. My hotel was on 32nd and Madison and I walked from there, up to Central Park then right the way down to Battery Park and back to the hotel (with lots of detours, of course) in a day. I was exhausted but since I only really had one day to see as much as possible, I thought it was better to forget the subway! I'm definitely hoping to make it back there before the end of the year.

[willow]

Ellen,

As cute as cats are, I only like them from afar as they typically cause my allergies to go beserk and I end up with red with red splotches, marathon sneezes, and eyes like water fountains!

Your couch surfing days sound very much like those of some of college friends. They were all pretty crazy but great fun!

And your wedding sounds sooo romantic!
You really are living my dream life, want to switch?

[ouiparis]

Ahh, to be a bride-to-be again, the highs and lows of wedding planning! Although we didn't get married in Paris, we brought Paris to our wedding. Our table numbers were actually names of streets, attractions, museums, quartiers, etc. in Paris (Tour Eiffel, Bateau Mouches, Moulin Rouges, and so on) with little factoids. We had Eiffel napkin rings, which also doubled as our guests' take-home gifts. Sounds cheesy I know, but they were quite cute!

Have "fun" planning the rest of the details for your wedding. I am looking forward to seeing photographs of your special day (hope you'll share with us!)

[Becky (Berkeleytravelers)]

LN, I can relate to the planning issues/chaos! That's a large part of why, when Joe and I got married a couple of years ago, we had just ourselves, our two witnesses, and a minister, and had the ceremony aboard an old steam train outside Virginia City, Nevada - and then we held our breath and told friends and family (but they were all fine with it, and were understanding that neither of us wanted to have a big event for the second time). All that said, however, I think it's delightful that you are doing it this way, and the boat sounds really lovely.

[lnverte]

Becky;

don't tempt me! We seriously considered getting married on a beach somewhere and celebrating by going fish-bothering afterwards (we are both certified scuba divers) but decided against it, on the grounds that our parents would never forgive us.

When we finally got around to telling said parents (it took a little while to build up the courage), his parents complained about the cost (even though we are paying for everything ourselves) and mine admitted that they were convinced that we would fly off and get married on a beach somewhere...

And of course I'll share the photos.

[grndma]

:)Ln Such an informative post, thank you. Barnsley folk are like Bolton folk, salt of the earth. Have you lost your Yorkshire accent or does it come through in your French?
I'm so excited about your wedding, it sounds lovely and worth all the complicated planning. Grndpa and I were married in 2000 on my 50th birthday after 12 years together.. I thought I had better make an honest man of him... After all that time together I wanted a full blown affair and thats what we did. Although our official honeymoon was in Portugal I feel that our REAL honeymoon was in Paris a few months later where we went on a whim and fell in love all over again. That was the beginning of our annual trips to Paris and another love affair began for me!
Every year when we go back we get that feeling again, just being together without any distractions in your beautiful city of light and love. ( sorry if this sounds gushing but that IS how I feel)
My two children and three stepchildren have all had weddings since and I have been involved in the planning of them all. My friend asked me to be her wedding co-ordinator a few years ago and I had a wonderful time. I would really like to do it for a living. Maybe one day I will go into business.
Just a dream of mine
Denise
Love from England

[Becky (Berkeleytravelers)]

LN and Denise - I think this all just goes to show that you should please yourself when it comes to things like that!

[Jody]

It all sounds lovely , Ellen. I was just reading somewhere how difficult all the legalities can be for a French wedding, made me wonder at all those couples from elsewhere, who want to get married in France, if they knew what they were getting in for.

[andi]

Thank you for explaining everything Ellen, many congratulations on your up and coming wedding, it sounds delightfully well planned out. An aquaintence of mine in Paris got married at the Mairie at the end of last year, she has since moved to the USA. My mum supplied decorations for wedding cakes and we shipped some over to her, thats how we became friends.

www.ourparisforum.com/index.cgi?board=general&action=display&thread=285

I am so envious of the fact that you managed to escape the northern ratrace, I myself, am from the midlands and for now am making do with yearly trips, only 7 weeks and 6 days to go.
I think it's a good idea that you have curbed your open invitations, now you are a member here, I wouldn't put it past anyone of us to just knock at your door and stay. Most would probably never leave!

[lnverte]

Demarais,

the formalities required to get married here can be tedious but I have found that the best thing to do is to laugh about it. Here are a few examples:

To set a date with the Mairie, you have to supply a number of documents, including a full birth certificate (with a certified translation if it isn't in French) and two documents showing your full address in France. These must be dated no more than 3 months before the date of the wedding. BUT in Paris, the dates at the Mairie get booked up over 6 months in advance (particularly Saturdays in the Summer - when we went to the Mairie in December to book a date, the first Saturday available was in July). You can't book a date until you have all of the necessary paperwork but you have to book so far in advance that the paperwork will no longer be valid on the day of the wedding. This means that less than 3 months before the wedding, we have to go back to the Mairie with a new birth certificate (to prove that we have not changed date or place of birth or parents since last December)... On the bright side, we won't have to provide new proofs of address because it won't matter if we have moved house in the mean time

Then, there is the medical exam. The government recently voted to abolish the 'visite médicale prénuptiale' but when we were fixing our date, the law had not been put into action so we had to provide a medical certificate saying that we were fit to marry.

For the groom, the medical takes 5 minutes and involves a quick chat about contraception and STDs.

For the Bride: smear test, breast cancer screening and a full panel of blood tests, including a pregnancy test, Hepatitis and Rubella screening. As well as a long chat about contraception, STDs and the importance of having lots of children.

The funny thing is that, since the results of these tests, whatever they may be, cannot constitute grounds for refusing someone the right to marry, my doctor gave me the prescription for the necessary tests and the medical certificate at the same time. That was in December and I keep 'forgetting' to go for the tests but it won't make any difference if I don't. Ho Hum.

Still, these and the many other intricacies of the French administration are nothing compared to the stacks of paperwork reserved for someone who gets married abroad wanting to have the marriage officially recognised in France...

I just keep telling myself that I'm lucky to be from the European Union. The Future Mr LN's brother married a Moroccan woman nearly 3 years ago and they are still jumping through hoops.

LN

[Becky (Berkeleytravelers)]

This sounds like the inspiration for some of "Catch 22" (e.g., you can see Major Major Major only if you have an appointment, and you can make an appointment to see him but only for a time when he's not there). But then again, the word "bureaucracy" is from the French, so there you have it . . . . (is the verified update of your translated birth certificate required to have a minimum of three seals and five red ribbons?)

[grndma]

;DWow!I'm beginning to see why running off to a beach and fish bothering seemed so attractive. All this administrative hassle AND arranging a wedding and reception! perhaps you would have been better off in Barnsley...although not as romantic.LOL ;D ;D
Love Denise

[Becky (Berkeleytravelers)]

LOL, Denise - never heard "fish bothering" before (I'll have to use that line with my father, who has been a trout fisherman from my earliest memory!) ;D

[lnverte]

Becky,

I often wonder what would happen to Joseph Heller if he came to France and experienced French burocracy - I think there is a good chance that his head might explode...

And fish-bothering is the term that I have adopted to refer to scuba diving. Initially, I just used it to wind up my instructors 'allons embêter des poissons' but it sort of caught on.

Denise,

despite the trials and tribulations of the French Administration, I'm staying away from Barnsley weddings as that would mean having to invite ALL of my mum's MANY aunts, uncles, cousins, half-cousins, neighbours, window cleaners, paper boys, kitchen sink delivery men... All of my mum's family live in 4 villages near Sheffield and they all know everything about what everyone else is doing so you can't just invite your favourites without starting an all-out civil war. In Paris, we are inviting 80 people and are looking at a maximum budget of 20,000 euros (honeymoon included). The last family wedding in Barnsley had a guest list of 170 and that was JUST family!

We are having a post-wedding party back in England in October. My dad will be 60 on October 6th so we are throwing a joint birthday/wedding ceilidh (my dad's band will be playing), just to give the family the chance to buy us presents, without the expense of a full wedding reception...

[Becky (Berkeleytravelers)]

Hey LN, sorry didn't notice that Denise was just echoing you on the "fish bothering" (but it still makes me chuckle). And what kind of band does your dad have? (Suppose, as long as you can dance to the music, it doesn't matter much for purposes of a big celebration, right?)

[grndma]

:)Dear Ellen, I know just what you mean about weddings and upsetting families and acquaintances. The nice thing about mine and Grndpas wedding was that because we were older we only invited people WE really wanted, unlike my first traditional wedding when I had to invite Uncle Tom Cobbley an all so nobody was offended, and my second quiet wedding when we invited hardly anyone so everybody was upset. Third time lucky I got the balance right.
You sound like you will get the best of both worlds by having a party in Yorkshire in October. Opening the presents is like Christmas and Birthday all in one! Is your dad Irish as he plays in a Ceilidh? What a great idea for a party. I hope your dancing is up to scratch after all those years in France. You'd better get pactising now as I'm sure you and TFMLN will be expected to do a "first dance"LOL ;D ;D
Denise
Love from Bolton