To smokers in the forum and elsewhere

[sistereurope]

Joan, Anne and andi - I truly feel your pain! I was a committed smoker for many years. I didn't smoke a lot, but I had to smoke every day, and Joan I was just like you...hiding it from my kids and other people as much as possible, spraying myself with perfume and sucking in breath mints. I was an aerobics instructor for 15 years and smoked the whole time!!I even hid it from my husband for a while when he gave it up in 2004... until we went to Paris in 2005 and I couldn't stand not smoking and we both ended up smoking again.
He finally quit again in the summer of 2006 and we started fighting about my smoking. He wanted me to quit and badgered me into it. I finally couldn't stand the fights so I bought some nicotine mints. They helped me to stop the SMOKING - but Gitte is SO right, I was still addicted to nicotine. I was as hooked on the mints as I was on cigarettes. I finally gave up the mints last spring. It was hard, and I do have to say that I still thought about smoking every day for quite a while after.

Now, I am FINALLY happy to say that I consider myself a non-smoker, as opposed to a smoker who isn't smoking. I had every opportunity to smoke during this past trip to Paris - no husband around to yell at me. I always craved a cigarette in Paris - it's still in my mind a smoking place. But guess what? This trip, I didn't have the desire!! YEA! Finally!!

All that to say that I hope that you find the strength to quit...and to me, Gitte's way seems like the way to go. I totally agree with her that it feels wonderful to be free of the chain of that addiction. I wish you all the best...I truly am in your corners!

[trechic]

My mother died of lung cancer to at the age of 66 in 1980. I also have smoked in my life and on occasion I still do. I never buy cigs but if I am at a social event and drinking and people go outside for a cig ... I can't wait to go and bum one! It's so stupid!!
I wonder if this method would work for alcoholism too, Gitte???

[GitteK]

trechic, the Allen Carr clinics do in fact work with alcohol control also, after the same principles. Not only for "real" drunkards, but also for ordinary people who drink too much wine or beer in their daily lives and who are worried about it for their health.
If you check out the website, you will find some more info about it.
allencarr.com/central/category/Easyway-To-Control-Alcohol/

[trechic]

Thanks, Gitte!

[Sandy M]

GitteK,

Thanks so much for this information on Smoking Cessation from Allen Carr. I have quit so many times over the years only to start again and kicked myself each time I did. I'll certainly check into what Allen Carr has to say and I think it's wonderful that you posted this information. You deserve an Exalt for doing so.

Oprah Winfrey's entire program today was on quitting smoking and she had the famous Dr. Oz on as a guest speaker. He displayed some pictures of lungs and other organs that have been devasted by years of smoking. There were also several guests on the show who had testing done on their lungs using the very latest in depth technology - there were 10 people tested and 7 out of the 10 had some serious damage to their lungs including the beginning of cancer and also COPD caused by all the years of smoking. Pretty scary stuff and what a wake up call!

Plus, it seems that every time I turn on television, there is some public service announcement urging people to stop smoking, I have also seen several articles about the harmful effects of smoking in the newspaper and in magazines - then I read your thread and then I saw the Oprah show today - someone is trying to tell me something and I think I'd better listen!

Thanks again for the information.

[Becky (Berkeleytravelers)]

Sandra - good luck! (I just wish the Carr seminars in the US included the weight control type - unfortunately, seems not to be the case!)

[Sandy M]

Becky - thanks so much for the encouragement! I'll need all the help I can get! I would love to go to a seminar but may try the book first and then go from there.
I agree with you about the weight seminar - that would be nice to attend as that is a problem for me also. I really have to watch it or I gain weight without even thinking about it.

[rssilverandlight]

My mother died of lung cancer in 1985 at age 63.
My latest granddaughter Lucy is 8 weeks old,
they would have loved each other... very much.

[joan1]

TWENTY THREE DAYS AND NO SMOKIES!!!!!!!!

Ok, got flu, couldn't smoke since I couldn't get out of bed for 5 days, so then I thought, well, I have gone this far.... and then I am reading Gittes posts ,, and something she says is just clicking away in my mind, the deception, the deception.

I still want one every day( not all day , it comes and goes) , but it IS getting less and less , when ever the craving hits, I tell myself, this is DECEPTION, I have been LIED to, my body does NOT want it, the drug is TRICKING me, well, this mantra is working. I am convincing myself that I am not depriving myself, but only now in fact LISTENING to my body.

PS Yes. I have gained about 13 pounds, but better a bit " fluffy" then rotting from the inside out. I can and will lose the weight in a few months, but for now I am just trying to start a walking routine, added benefit is this is "training" for my trip this July!

[susanb]

To everyone on this forum and elsewhere, I wish you the best of luck. I quit smoking in 1984, one of the most difficult things that I've ever had to do. Please STOP. You will be so proud of yourself and surprised that you ever started such a putried thing. One trick that I tried out of many was to brush my teeth everytime I wanted a cigarrette. If I wanted one in the car, I just used it dry. I had toothbrushes all over, but it helped me. If you put your mind to it, YOU CAN DO IT!!!
Susan

[GitteK]

Hurray ! I am so happy to hear your stories !

sandra m: welcome to the forum !

Joan1, my warmest congratulations !! Only remember that the craving for putting something else into your mouth is a warning symptom that you believe that you need some sort of "substitute-nicotine" in form of candies or more food. 13 pounds is way too much, so please pay attention. You still "smoke" - only not cigarettes. Now that you have come this far, I am so sure that reading the book will do the last trick and finally push you over the edge: out of Smoker's Hell for good. And your need for "substitutes" will disappear, I promise you.

Please don't create a weight problem by abusing food instead of nicotine. Take this from someone who has managed to be a heavy smoker AND a very heavy girl for the main part of her life.
If you put on too much weight, you risk subconsciously to grab this problem as an excuse to start smoking again.

www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/0140277633/allencar/026-1457695-9921253
(this is the one I read)

This is a special version for women (I haven't read it):
www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/0572028628/026-9153356-1160452?v=glance&n=266239&s=books&v=glance

dearest randy, your story brought tears to my eyes. The very little and the very old understand each other without words, and they should be together, because both living near the edges of life, they are the ones closest to the source.

[joan1]

Gitte, You are right , I have started smoking in the past because I was so unhappy about the weightl , I even would say things to myself like, I will just start smoking and lose the weight, and then I will quit again.

Actually today has been a horrible day,, my teenage son has been suspended from school for three days because he arrived in class smelling of pot smoke. If I could only describe the drive to school to go and get him, you have NO idea how upset I am , other then wanting to strangle him, I wanted to stop at a store and buy some smokes, but, I just kept saying I won't let anyone convince me to start, not even myself..

I will not add one problem to the other. I will not add one problem to the other.

[Anne]

Ooooh Joan, I understand you so well ... The first packet that I bought after a very long time was when I was going through difficult times with my eldest daughter and then one day I discovered something very upsetting that she had done . Please don't act as stupidly as I have, smoking won't make things feel less upsetting, even if I understand the craving ...

[andi]

Joan, by not touching the cigerettes you will set a good example to your son, how can he have any argument with what he has done if you stay the same? We are so proud of you for getting this far, it takes dedication.

[Shoesy]

Joan - Congratulations on all those days you have managed NOT to smoke! Even though I've never smoked, I'm well aware of the fact that it's a tremendous accomplishment, for which I commend you. I'm sorry for the problems you are having with your son, but who ever said that raising kids is easy? You seem VERY strong and determined to stop smoking, and I'm sure you'll deal with the weight gain as well.
Incidentally, I will always remember you as the lady who sent me my very first PM, which was on TA almost 10 months ago. In case you don't remember, you sent it in order to inquire about my arm/shoulder, which I had injured after falling in a mall.

[GitteK]

joan1 - this is a story from my life, re smoking - which is not unsimilar to your situation now.

I went to the first Allen Carr stop-smoking course on the 12 Jan.2006 and I was so happy about it. Things went really, really well for 3 weeks, something like that (it was just before going to follow-up course I). Then one evening my 18½ year old son came home and told that he had been to the doctor's to have an HIV-test done, just to be sure, because he had been careless with some dubious girl.
BANG !!!! Down the drain I went. That night I drank too much wine and thought: "What the hell, if things go bad for my son, I might as well start smoking again and kill myself". I didn't really fancy the cigarette as such, it was some kind of childish protest and spite towards myself that seized me.

So I lit one of my husband's cigarettes and took one poof. Trust me, it was the most disgusting thing I had ever tasted.

And THEN the message finally got through to me - and it felt like a divine revelation, although it is the most matter-of-fact, self-evident truth:

* Smoking has nothing to do with comfort or relief.
* Smoking is only interesting, if you are addicted to nicotine.
* Smokers do not get some kind of secret relief or comfort, that the "poor" non-smokers don't know of.
* Smokers are taught by the tobacco industry to mix up in their minds the relief they get from filling up the nicotine-hole, with attaining true relief and comfort.

But if your life is miserable, smoking will make no difference, only make it even more miserable.

The short-lived relief you feel by puffing away on the cigarette comes exclusively from filling up the nicotine-hole.

Only the deeply tragic thing is that the cigarette which filled up this hole instantly creates a new hole that will make you crave the next cigarette, in about 30-40 minutes' time. It's pure chemistry - combined with years and years of brainwash from the industry, that:
"smoking helps"
"smoking does something good for you, when you are stressed"
"look at the dying man in a war movie, what's his last wish ? A CIGARETTE!!"
"listen to us, come to us, we have what you need, when you are down the drain"

It's legalized drug pushing, it's as simple as that.

Morals:
No, my son had no HIV-virus, thank God.
And if he had, would my smoking have cured him - or made any of us any stronger ? I have never looked back at the cigarettes since, because that incident finally cured me of the brainwash.

joan1, do take your boy to a drug counsellor, a psychologist or a youth counsellor - or whatever you find wise. But don't start smoking.

[Shoesy]

Gitte - That's quite a compelling post and more than worthy of an exalt. It's very kind of you to share something so personal in order to help others.
It sounds like you really did have a "divine revelation", which has left you with the most meaningful knowlege that you might ever acquire in your lifetime. It's hard to imagine the fear you must have felt waiting for your son's test results, but thank goodness things turned out well.

[Happygoin]

I've exalted you as well, Gitte...both for posting such a personal and compelling story and also, for caring enough to start the post in the first place. Nice job.

[sistereurope]

Very wise words, Gitte. I exalt you for sharing, too.

Joan, I can remember after I quit thinking "there's no way I will be able to face any stressful event without smoking". But now, I can't imagine smoking when I'm upset! Talk about a total turn-around...from someone who could never imagine herself saying anything like that, EVER. I was a committed smoker!
Hang in there - you're a strong person, you can do this. You WILL get to the place where Gitte and all the rest of us former smokers are, and you'll feel so much better.

[joan1]

Gitte, thank you for your very very helpful post.
It made so much sense. It really did, I cannot believe how helpful this has been , words from "strangers " on the computer .... I do not mean that badly, it is just amazing though that people from all the other the world can support and aid each other, in travels and in life.. really , who would have thought this possible 15 years ago... ?

Thanks also to Sistereurope, Anne and Andiandgaz( Andiandgaz I never smoke in front of my children, I keep it a secret,, I agree it is a bad example, my own mother smoked so I know!)

Shoesy, I remember your arm now,,, what a good memory you have!!